Structures is a word that we unconsciously associate with biology, chemistry, physics, society, organization, and data, but we rarely think of them as systems that support our own goals and development. However if you start looking at your surroundings and the meaning behind your actions you could find structures that you've built everywhere. Getting a coffee every morning when you wake up is a structure that supports your waking up process. The folders in your computer are a structure that helps you organize your data. Your calendar is a structure that moves you through your appointments and meetings. Your structures are powerful and you can make them even more powerful. So what can you do?
Start with what you have
Look around and discover the structures that you have already built. You might be aware of some of them and you might discover some that you've activated unconsciously. Think about your findings. Which structures are supporting you and which structures present as an obstacle to your own goals? Which ones need to stay and which ones you need to let go?
Make a reality check with your own goals
Spend some time to reflect on your personal goals and see how the structures you already have support you with them. Next, think about what areas you need to start structuring or further structure. When you do that it is also time to think of what type of structures work for you, make a link with your own personality and type to build structures that match who you are and empower you to move forward.
Structure your own structures
Build a plan on managing your own structures. Some elements to include are measurements of the efficiency of your structures and periods for reassessment. Don't let them stay forever. Come back to them from time to time to evaluate how they serve your needs and whether some new changes should be done. Make this process cyclical and take your life in your hands.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
In what ways we make judgments and how are they not cool
We are surrounded by judgments. Everyday we hear our parents, friends, colleagues, and even strangers share their wisdom with us, give us some directions, tell us what we should do and what we should not do, and ordering us something. It seems like everybody has some idea for us how to live our own lives. Is it fun? Not exactly. As well intended their motives are, we know how to live our lives and we feel judged. Well, what about you? How many times a day do you judge people around you? If you wander how to answer this question, here are some clues on the forms of judging.
Comparing
We hear another person sharing their story with us. Our first reaction is: Yes, I understand you! Why do we say that? Because we've had the same experience or because somebody else have shared such experience with us. Well, if you stop for a minute, you will find out that we never have the same experience. For example, a friend lost his job, and we understand what he is going through because we have lost a job too. However, how you go through this change is quite different from the way your friend is dealing with that same change because you have different support systems, different financial backup, and different opportunities for the future. Now, when you compare your story with others stories you are judging that they have exactly the same feelings, hesitations and experience as yours. With that you stop paying attention to the needs of the other person and you stop yourself from supporting them.
Advising
Other times we hear somebody share a challenge, and we immediately jump in with an advice. And by doing that we are judging that the other person is stuck and can't find a solution alone. We are saying that we are better and we know more. We don't acknowledge that the other person is resourceful and can deal with that with his own strategy. We are draining their energy and refocusing it in our direction. We leave the person even less energized and probably without solution. Think how you feel when people give you advice when you are not asking for one. "You should get this job because it's better paid", "You should stop smoking because it ruins your health", "You should stop eating that much because you're getting fatter", etc. Did such advice make any difference for you? Probably, they leave some nuance of negativity. Well, do you want to have the same impact on other people?
Negative thinking
Sometimes without even thinking about it we start judging people because we have some negative thoughts or beliefs about them. Usually they are based on some diversity. We say to ourselves "I don't understand why he is doing that", "I don't like her because she left her husband", "He is very moody", etc. We observe something in the other person and if we don't recognize ourselves, we tend to judge them on the basis of unproved beliefs. And when we do that we stop ourselves from getting to know that person, to understand their own motives and values, and thus we lose an opportunity to discover another unique human being who can enrich our own thoughts and knowledge by bringing more diversity to them.
Suspending judgments is a practice that can support us in building valuable relationships and partnerships in life and work. Allowing the other people to be who they are and support their own decisions is a powerful way to build trust and long-lasting connections. It attracts people to us. It is an empowering approach to introducing shared leadership. And much more than that.
Comparing
We hear another person sharing their story with us. Our first reaction is: Yes, I understand you! Why do we say that? Because we've had the same experience or because somebody else have shared such experience with us. Well, if you stop for a minute, you will find out that we never have the same experience. For example, a friend lost his job, and we understand what he is going through because we have lost a job too. However, how you go through this change is quite different from the way your friend is dealing with that same change because you have different support systems, different financial backup, and different opportunities for the future. Now, when you compare your story with others stories you are judging that they have exactly the same feelings, hesitations and experience as yours. With that you stop paying attention to the needs of the other person and you stop yourself from supporting them.
Advising
Other times we hear somebody share a challenge, and we immediately jump in with an advice. And by doing that we are judging that the other person is stuck and can't find a solution alone. We are saying that we are better and we know more. We don't acknowledge that the other person is resourceful and can deal with that with his own strategy. We are draining their energy and refocusing it in our direction. We leave the person even less energized and probably without solution. Think how you feel when people give you advice when you are not asking for one. "You should get this job because it's better paid", "You should stop smoking because it ruins your health", "You should stop eating that much because you're getting fatter", etc. Did such advice make any difference for you? Probably, they leave some nuance of negativity. Well, do you want to have the same impact on other people?
Negative thinking
Sometimes without even thinking about it we start judging people because we have some negative thoughts or beliefs about them. Usually they are based on some diversity. We say to ourselves "I don't understand why he is doing that", "I don't like her because she left her husband", "He is very moody", etc. We observe something in the other person and if we don't recognize ourselves, we tend to judge them on the basis of unproved beliefs. And when we do that we stop ourselves from getting to know that person, to understand their own motives and values, and thus we lose an opportunity to discover another unique human being who can enrich our own thoughts and knowledge by bringing more diversity to them.
Suspending judgments is a practice that can support us in building valuable relationships and partnerships in life and work. Allowing the other people to be who they are and support their own decisions is a powerful way to build trust and long-lasting connections. It attracts people to us. It is an empowering approach to introducing shared leadership. And much more than that.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Do you have a self-management process in place?
When it comes to the word management, the visual is a person who manages other people. A common definition of management is "the organization and coordination of the activities of an enterprise in accordance with certain policies and in achievement of defined goals. If mastered, management leads to great results - goals achievement, enhanced productivity, bigger market share, low turnover and much more. You know how valuable management could be for organizations, but have you ever thought how powerful it could be for individual self development?
I am thinking of self-management and I define it as a process for organizing own activities in congruence with personal values, purpose, and preferences that leads to achieving goals for self-development. At its core self-management is about taking responsibility for our own progress and growth, holding ourselves accountable to our plans. A huge body of knowledge is available on management. We can all learn and adapt some affirmed techniques to support our own progress. Here is a simple strategy.
Planning and goal setting
Great manager know how to plan and set goals. You can do that too. Go back to your self development plan and check again what are your goals and visions for the future. And if you don't have a self-development plan, start building it know. Here is a post to support your endeavors. Plan your route to your desired future state. Start setting goals that would move you closer. Don't forget to set SMART goals.
Organizing
Great managers know how to organize, and great self-managers know that too. Build some structures that would support your plans and goal achievement. What do you struggle with? What are your barriers? What needs to be in place in order for you to move forward? Spend some time with reflections to address areas that need to be structured. Organize your life in a way that would make place for your self-development among all your other responsibilities.
Controlling and Problem Solving
Great managers also control and solve problems. Guess what, you can do that too! Check how are you doing with your goals. If there are disruptions or difficulties, find a way to control them. Don't allow them to transfer into obstacles to your own self-development. Don't give up when you are facing problems. Use them as an opportunity to enhance your problem solving skills. Don't hesitate to look for help. (Great managers have allies too.) Your self-development is in your hands. It is you who is in charge.
I am thinking of self-management and I define it as a process for organizing own activities in congruence with personal values, purpose, and preferences that leads to achieving goals for self-development. At its core self-management is about taking responsibility for our own progress and growth, holding ourselves accountable to our plans. A huge body of knowledge is available on management. We can all learn and adapt some affirmed techniques to support our own progress. Here is a simple strategy.
Planning and goal setting
Great manager know how to plan and set goals. You can do that too. Go back to your self development plan and check again what are your goals and visions for the future. And if you don't have a self-development plan, start building it know. Here is a post to support your endeavors. Plan your route to your desired future state. Start setting goals that would move you closer. Don't forget to set SMART goals.
Organizing
Great managers know how to organize, and great self-managers know that too. Build some structures that would support your plans and goal achievement. What do you struggle with? What are your barriers? What needs to be in place in order for you to move forward? Spend some time with reflections to address areas that need to be structured. Organize your life in a way that would make place for your self-development among all your other responsibilities.
Controlling and Problem Solving
Great managers also control and solve problems. Guess what, you can do that too! Check how are you doing with your goals. If there are disruptions or difficulties, find a way to control them. Don't allow them to transfer into obstacles to your own self-development. Don't give up when you are facing problems. Use them as an opportunity to enhance your problem solving skills. Don't hesitate to look for help. (Great managers have allies too.) Your self-development is in your hands. It is you who is in charge.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Surface your assumptions
Surfacing assumptions is a core coaching competency that supports building the trusting and empowering partnership between the coach and the client, and also allows for authentic coaching to happen. However, mastering this competency could be equally valuable for each of you both in life and in work.
What assumptions actually do is putting you in a closed box where you find yourself alone with your judgmental thoughts. They close the doors for exploration of other truths and other perspectives. They trap you in your own emotionally charged views and enhance your own belief behind the assumptions you are making. How is this helping you? Only you have the answer. Whatever it is, it's worth to bring your assumptions to the surface and examine them.
Imagine the opposite. You are not making assumptions. Instead of putting a label on something or somebody, you rush to explore what is it out there, what can you discover, how you can inform yourself further and enhance your own knowledge. You discover that there is so much uniqueness in the world, so much to learn, so much to explore... How does this sound to you?
What assumptions actually do is putting you in a closed box where you find yourself alone with your judgmental thoughts. They close the doors for exploration of other truths and other perspectives. They trap you in your own emotionally charged views and enhance your own belief behind the assumptions you are making. How is this helping you? Only you have the answer. Whatever it is, it's worth to bring your assumptions to the surface and examine them.
Imagine the opposite. You are not making assumptions. Instead of putting a label on something or somebody, you rush to explore what is it out there, what can you discover, how you can inform yourself further and enhance your own knowledge. You discover that there is so much uniqueness in the world, so much to learn, so much to explore... How does this sound to you?
Sunday, July 3, 2011
What are you delaying and what can you learn from that?
There are certain moments in life when you know you need to do something or want to do something, yet you don't. It could be something small like finally singing karaoke, or it could be something life-changing like choosing a new career direction. Whatever it is, if you are not taking an action, then you find yourself in a delay. There are two types of delays which I call planned and questionable. Planned delay occurs when you are delaying an action on purpose. You want to make other actions before moving to this one or you want to sum up your necessary resources. Whatever your specific purpose is, your delay is part of your individual plan and demonstrates your commitment to your own development. The challenging one is the questionable one. There are no obvious reasons for it, yet it is a fact.
Questionable delays present as an obstacle on your way to pursuing your dreams and personal goals. They can have a negative influence on your confidence, your personal agenda and even on your own growth. However, you can transform your questionable delays into a valuable learning experience if you commit to challenging them.
The first step in this process is to take a moment to identify those delays. The second one is to start thinking what it is that prevents you from moving to action. You may be surprised what you can find - assumptions, underlying beliefs, fear, lack of knowledge, scarce resources, self-doubt, lack of confidence and only you know what else. Once, you have identified your self-barrier it's time to measure how not acting would affect you. If it has a neutral influence, you can decide if the adventure is worthy. If it has any nuances of negative impact on your plans and self-growth, it's time to act on the delay. And the very first step is transforming your barrier to action into an area for self-development.
Questionable delays present as an obstacle on your way to pursuing your dreams and personal goals. They can have a negative influence on your confidence, your personal agenda and even on your own growth. However, you can transform your questionable delays into a valuable learning experience if you commit to challenging them.
The first step in this process is to take a moment to identify those delays. The second one is to start thinking what it is that prevents you from moving to action. You may be surprised what you can find - assumptions, underlying beliefs, fear, lack of knowledge, scarce resources, self-doubt, lack of confidence and only you know what else. Once, you have identified your self-barrier it's time to measure how not acting would affect you. If it has a neutral influence, you can decide if the adventure is worthy. If it has any nuances of negative impact on your plans and self-growth, it's time to act on the delay. And the very first step is transforming your barrier to action into an area for self-development.
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