Practice power listening to experience a huge shift in relationships

In my school ICA we have a special module, called power listening. It refers to one of the competencies that form the unique coaching competencies set that we offer to our clients. Power listening refers to going beyond what the other person says, and listen to the words the person says, the meaning that comes with those words, the things that the person doesn't say, the tone of the voice and the inner expression as well as to the non-verbal voice of the person. Power listening can take you on another level of understanding the other person, and ultimately to a higher level of relationship or partnership with that person.

Yes, power listening is a coaching competency.  Yet, it is also a beautiful competency to practice in your personal and professional life. Try to think when was the last time when you felt genuinely heard and understood. Probably it would take you a while. Try to think of the last time you felt unheard and your words were skipped away. That one would probably come easier. Well, chances are a lot of people around you feel the same. In this fast paced environment we all live in it is difficult to dedicate time to other people and it is even more difficult to dedicate consciously our full attention. The consequences - people skip away each other.

If you start practicing power listening you will experience a whole different energy when interacting with other people. You can make them feel good; you can motivate them toward a goal; you can encourage them to be honest and open with you. On your behalf: you can experience what it feels people to trust you; you can build open relationships or partnerships; you can find some allies; you can better understand the people around you and their intrinsic motives; and you will definitely feel empowered by this whole new energy you create.

Here are some tips to help you prepare:

1. Devote some time to the other person. Try to find a place where you both would not be distracted by other people, noises or phone rings.

2. Temporarily disable your own thoughts and feelings. Focus on the other person and what they need to say, just listen to what they need to share.

3. Suspend your judgements. Don't try to judge, evaluate or give opinion to what the other person is saying. Again, just listen. Be curious to find out what it is to be in the other person's shoes.

4. Activate your inquiry. If you want to find more about what the other person is saying or if you are not sure if you understand correctly what is being said, asked questions to bring clarity in your mind. Make sure you genuinely understand the other person.

5. Give yourself few minutes to reflect on this experience, its impact on and effect of the interaction before you move back to your normal mode.

Power listening is not only a coaching competency. It is also a leadership competency, a great friend competency, and a great team member competency.