"I have to do it" or "I'll make it happen"?

Often times I have heard people complaining that it is Monday and the work week starts. They are not living each week, rather they are surviving with the thought that Friday would come. Are you one of those people? Are you spending more than 2/3 of your time contemplating the time to pass?

Another way to approach your current career situation is to ask yourself: Do I have to do this task or am I committed to make it happen? As simply as it sounds, this question can lead you to unexplored deep waters of your career satisfaction.

If the governing phrases that you use to describe your job are "I have to", "I am not interested in it" or "I don't want it" than it might be time to reflect on where you are and what keeps  you there. If you find yourself in a compliance mode at work, you are not serving your company, but most importantly you are not serving yourself. If you are complying, then you lack intrinsic motivation. There might be myriad reasons for that: you are not recognized, you are not rewarded as you expect you should be, you don't have any opportunities for development or you are not working what you want to work. Discover what your trigger is for lack of career satisfaction and address it. You want to overcome this barrier because when you do that you move to the other side of the fence, and it is an empowering one!

The other side is commitment. The governing phrases that you use here to describe your job are "I want it", "I will make it happen" and "I am so committed to pursuing it". How exciting it is to start each week with the feeling that you have a number of chances to do what you love to do and to pursue your own purpose in life! What a beautiful feeling it is to feel fulfilled! What an inspiring situation it is to bring meaning in the world and to feel proud of being part of it! What a valuable experience it is to take the most of what you are doing, and to use it as a personal and professional development opportunity. Yes, you might want to explore this side!

Sum up your confidence to move forward

There are points in your lives when you may feel stuck to move forward because you don't trust yourself. You might doubt your abilities or skills. You might make excuse that this is not the right time. You might think that you don't have the necessary resources. Or you may feel that your family would not support you. No matter what is going on in your head, if you are not thinking how to get where you want to go, but what stops you from getting there, it might be a great idea to start with a boost on your self-confidence.

The force-field analysis for enhancing self-confidence

Step 1. Initial assessment

On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is "not confident" and 10 is "100% confident", where do you find yourself at the moment?

Step 2. Identification of self-confidence driving and restraining forces

• Draw a vertical line. 
• Thinking of the result you have just scored for your self-confidence, start listing on the left side of line all the driving forces that make you feel confident. Rank each of them in congruence with the strength of their influence you feel right now.
• Next, think what keeps you away from the score of 10; list on the right side all the restraining forces that stay on your way to being fully confident that you can identify. Rank each of them in congruence with the strength of their influence you feel right now.
• Go back to the left column. Start thinking on all other factors that make you feel confident in general but are not present in this particular case. List them below your driving forces with rank 0.

Step 3. Build a strategy
Now that you have a clear picture of what enhances your self-confidence and what keeps it from further enhancement, start thinking of strategy that would enhance the power of your driving forces. This may include:

• strengthening existing driving forces; 
• activating driving forces that are not currently having an influence in your confidence field analysis, but in general boost your confidence;
• removing restraining forces or diminishing their influence on your confidence field;
• transforming a restraining force into driving force.

Step 4. Action plan

Develop an action plan to implement your strategy. Identify what resources or support you need on the way. Don't ignore the small steps. They could lead to something big.

Step 5. Start right now

What is one thing you can do right now to win a point from the restraining forces and add it to your driving forces? Do it! And celebrate your first win!

Practice power listening to experience a huge shift in relationships

In my school ICA we have a special module, called power listening. It refers to one of the competencies that form the unique coaching competencies set that we offer to our clients. Power listening refers to going beyond what the other person says, and listen to the words the person says, the meaning that comes with those words, the things that the person doesn't say, the tone of the voice and the inner expression as well as to the non-verbal voice of the person. Power listening can take you on another level of understanding the other person, and ultimately to a higher level of relationship or partnership with that person.

Yes, power listening is a coaching competency.  Yet, it is also a beautiful competency to practice in your personal and professional life. Try to think when was the last time when you felt genuinely heard and understood. Probably it would take you a while. Try to think of the last time you felt unheard and your words were skipped away. That one would probably come easier. Well, chances are a lot of people around you feel the same. In this fast paced environment we all live in it is difficult to dedicate time to other people and it is even more difficult to dedicate consciously our full attention. The consequences - people skip away each other.

If you start practicing power listening you will experience a whole different energy when interacting with other people. You can make them feel good; you can motivate them toward a goal; you can encourage them to be honest and open with you. On your behalf: you can experience what it feels people to trust you; you can build open relationships or partnerships; you can find some allies; you can better understand the people around you and their intrinsic motives; and you will definitely feel empowered by this whole new energy you create.

Here are some tips to help you prepare:

1. Devote some time to the other person. Try to find a place where you both would not be distracted by other people, noises or phone rings.

2. Temporarily disable your own thoughts and feelings. Focus on the other person and what they need to say, just listen to what they need to share.

3. Suspend your judgements. Don't try to judge, evaluate or give opinion to what the other person is saying. Again, just listen. Be curious to find out what it is to be in the other person's shoes.

4. Activate your inquiry. If you want to find more about what the other person is saying or if you are not sure if you understand correctly what is being said, asked questions to bring clarity in your mind. Make sure you genuinely understand the other person.

5. Give yourself few minutes to reflect on this experience, its impact on and effect of the interaction before you move back to your normal mode.

Power listening is not only a coaching competency. It is also a leadership competency, a great friend competency, and a great team member competency. 

Self-development plan strategies

Planning and plans: another two words we hear so often in our business lives. It's all about the plans - the daily plan, the week plan, the month plan, the quarter plan, the year plan, the project plan, the financial plan, etc. It could be overwhelming. And it's all about business goals and business development. My challenging question to you is: how are you doing with your own development plan?

You might have never thought about it. Or you might have one in place but haven't revised it for a long period.  Or maybe you are a devoted planner of your own growth. Whatever your current situation is, it is really important to remember that having in place a fresh development plan is about being aware of where you want to go and what you want to do with your own life. It is empowering because it supports you to live on your own purpose. Here are few perspectives to encourage your thinking in terms of your self-development plan.

How does it look like?

Your self-development plan is yours! It can take any form as long as it works for you. Paper, Word, Excell, Powerpoint, thoughts, notes... The form doesn't matter. What matters is that it suits you, you are comfortable with it and you can get to it anytime you want.

What's included?

A self-development plan includes everything that supports your learning. From  reading an article, to researching information, to journaling, or going back to school - everything counts. What is important is being aware of activities that would help you to get to your desired future. It could be challenging yourself to engage in meaningful conversations once a week. Or maybe journaling about the things that you do and bring meaning in your life. Or attending a business seminar. Or try to get in touch with someone. Or find your coach. Or practicing certain skills. There is no list that could cover the variety of self-development activities. And there is definitely no list that would cover your unique activities. It all comes down to knowing yourself and your intrinsic desires and committing to make them happen.

What else should I consider?

There are a lot of factors that could have an impact on your self-development plan. One of them is time restriction. Think about your activities and how much time you can spend on them. Be realistic. Don't push yourself to burning out. And don't do something for the sake of going through it without taking the most value of it. Another factor are resources. Do you need to invest money in your development? How much can you afford? Considering your finances what are your best options? What kind of help you need? Do you have family members/ friends/ colleagues that could take some of the other burden so that you can jump in your self-development? Think about other factors that play in your life.

How often do I need to revise my plan?

When it comes to your self-development you are decision maker. It is not mandatory to revise your plan. However it is highly commendable to go back to it from time to time. You can check it on a daily basis if it keeps you motivated and on track. Or you can evaluate your progress few times a year to make sure you are moving forward. When you do that, don't forget to think of your final destination. If there are changes in it, it is possible that you plan needs some changes too. If you face some unexpected circumstances that could impact your plan, check out again what revisions must be made in order to accommodate these circumstances. Overall, revise your plan in your own pace.

Above all - don't forget to have fun. Committing to your self-development and growth is so empowering that once you experience it, you would hardly let it go. This is an amazing practice that would show you the beauty of your own life. Enjoy it!

Creating your vision

Have you ever thought about what it is that you want to achieve in life? What legacy do you want to leave behind? What it is that you were born to achieve? What it is that you are so passionate about that if you do it you will rock your world and the world of other people? All these questions find an answer in a personal vision statement. Do you have one? If you do, I want to acknowledge you for that! If you don't I want to encourage you to start building it.

Nowadays a strong organization has corporate values, a mission statement, and a vision statement. They all describe what the organization is all about, what it stands for and what can you expect from it. They might be called with other fancy names, like philosophy or commitment, but if they are strong and trustworthy, they may the organization look fancy and attractive in the eyes of employees and consumers. Have you ever been proud of being a member or a consumer of an organization? The feeling is great. But even greater is the feeling of pursuing your own vision. Here is a strategy how to start building it.

Build a picture of your ideal future

Think in a long-term perspective - 5 years or even 10 years. Imagine your ideal self that lives a flawless and fulfilling life. Look in the details. How do you feel? What do you do? What do you work? How working feels life? What results are you delivering? What type of organization you work for? How many people work with you? What function are you involved in? What is your family? What do you do together? How do you have fun? Who are your friends? What is relationship with them? Think not only of the practical circumstances, but also on your needs, feelings and behavior.

Start envisioning

Now that you have this future picture of yourself, start reflecting on what is it that really matters to you. Some other questions to help you in this process are: What do you want to achieve and how do you want to achieve it? What are you committed to do in your life? What will make your life fulfilling? What do you stand for? When you give answers to these questions, you will start seeing in your words your vision. Try to sum it up with a statement.
My vision is to...
If you are not that good with putting into words your thoughts and feelings, here is a nice resource for building you vision, developed by Franklin Covey. Check it out, it might help. 

Build a plan for pursuing your vision

Don't let your vision state on paper or in Word. Start living it now.

• Think of what needs to happen in order for you to achieve your vision. What knowledge, skills, resources, and support you need?
• Design your own individual development plan that would address these areas.
• Come up with at least three steps that you can take right now and that would move you closer to you achieving your vision.
• Act on these steps.
• Celebrate your early wins.

 And most importantly - enjoy this journey!