What can you expect from a professional coach? (3)

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY

This group of competencies focuses on  the power tool that coaches bring to the table - a unique set of communicating skills that, when combined, build the distinguished empowering coaching experience. Only those who have done it can describe it. So what are the secrets of effective coaching communication?

Competency 5: Active Listening

This competency describes the ability of the coach to focus completely and to understand fully what the client says through words and through non-verbal means with full awareness of the client's uniqueness (personality, needs, goals, style, etc.). There are specific behaviors to follow unconditionally in order to achieve mastery on this competency.

A professional coach always attends to the client's agenda and nothing else. The client decides what is important to him, what he wants to focus on, what goals he wants to achieve and how to do that. As a human being a coach always has an advice to offer. As an expert in a certain field a coach always has a solution to give. None of this works for the purposes of genuine coaching. Be aware if you coach goes in the direction of "Your problem is..", "I think the best thing for you is to..." or "Let me tell you how I handled a similar situation..." This also means that a coach would never judge what you are saying, nor will he demonstrate personal attachment to what you are sharing.

A professional coach hears what the client shares about his values, beliefs, goals and concerns. The role of the coach is not to dispute them or change the client's mind. Rather, a coach challenges the client to go on a deeper level of self-exploration, self-discovery and commitment to self. The purpose is to join the client in a journey of confronting boundaries, limitations, assumptions and mental orders in order to make a stretch to an upper level of growth and development.

A coach listens not only to the words, but also to the tone of the voice, the face expressions, the body language and the emotions. A coach sees that while committing to a desired goal, a sad expression appears on the face of the client. He immediately starts exploring this shift of mood. What is going on right now in the client's head? What are his thoughts? What provoked these thoughts? What is the connection between the goal and the thoughts? What can he do about them? A coach constantly encourages the client to express his feelings, concerns, beliefs, perceptions and ideas, and accepts them with respect. However, at the same time the coach always tries to further explore those that appear to be significant for the client and for his development process.

A very important skill for a coach is to summarize, paraphrase and mirror back to what the client has said. On behalf of the coach this is crucial to be sure that he is where the client is. On the other hand, this skill could be very helpful for the client. There is a great power in listening to somebody saying what you are saying. It provides an opportunity for further reflection, taking a different stance and even assessing how realistic, beautiful, sincere, etc. your own story is. Being on the same track is important for yet another reason. It helps the coach to continuously design the coaching process in a way that supports the client's ideas, suggestions and agenda which is the governing idea of the coaching.


A final behavior worth mentioning within this competency is the "bottom-lining". This is the skill to understand what the client's agenda is and to help him get where he wants to go. Every coaching session is time-bounded, and every minute is precious for the client. This is why a coach knows when to interrupt a long descriptive story or a story that goes far beyond the set coaching goals in order to get the client back on the developmental path. Sometimes you will not even understand when this happens. Other times you may feel confused, disappointed or even angry because you feel your coach was not supporting or was bored with your story. He said to you: "What is the connection between this story and your goal?", "I think that you are trying to ignore the real problem. Let's go back to..." or "This story seems intriguing, but let's not avoid the issue we came upon..." Well, trust your coach. He is doing that to help you get the most of your coaching session and to climb your potentials' tops.

Competency 6: Powerful Questioning

This competency is probably the most easily assessed one. It is the ability to reveal information that helps the client to move forward and to achieve the highs he wants to achieve. The ICF identifies four types of questions that a professional coach should master. These are:

• questions that reflect active listening and an understanding of the client's perspective; 
• questions that evoke discovery, action, commitment or action; 
• open questions that create greater possibility or opportunity for learning;
• questions that move the clients toward their desired goals or future.

The powerful questioning is a special skillset that coaches bring to the table. It is possible that one question fits within more than one of these categories. In the end all that matters is whether the client feels empowered after the session and whether he moves forward. Check out this scenario. A client comes to coaching with the defined goal of getting a promotion. He has mentioned in previous sessions that his boss confronts him occasionally and he struggles to effectively manage those conflicts. Today he mentions a new fight which seems to affect him. Consider the difference between a coach simply asking "Why are you angry at your boss this time?", and the more exploratory question "I know that you are overwhelmed by the conflicts with your boss and I see that you are getting more and more frustrated. Let's explore what are your invisible barriers to opposing him. Can you go back to your last confrontation and describe what exactly happened?"

Competency 7: Direct Communication

This competency describes the ability to communicate effectively during the coaching sessions in order to achieve the greatest positive impact on the client.

One of the behaviors that describe this competency is the ability to provide clear and articulate feedback.As much as a coach is supportive of everything that the client brings to the table, he could be of great help by providing an honest and objective feedback of what he hears or sees. Usually a professional coach could ask for permission to do so. The tricky thing about feedback in coaching is that it should not transform into criticism. A coach cannot criticize because he is not walking in the shoes of the client and cannot decide what is right. The feedback is a tool that coaches use in order to provide some additional perspective, provoke curiosity, and encourage further reflection. For example, instead of saying "You seem really scared", a coach can go in this direction: "I notice that every time you mention the possibility of taking this new role, your face changes and sadness comes in your eyes. Can you tell me what is going on in your mind right now?"

Another crucial ability is the one of reframing. Very often clients get stuck in a mental model or assumption or just lack the ability to see other opportunities. This is the time when a coach can bring a huge difference in the client's life. Asking the right questions can encourage inquiry, analysis and discovery. Often times clients share that there was this ONE question that changed the whole energy and opened new doors. Introducing reframing and different perspectives to clients is a great way to enhance learning and development.

Direct communication is also measured by the ability of the coach to manage the process. First, a coach helps the client to set goals for the coaching as a whole, but also for every single session. Coaching is not a chat. As much as it feels great to be in a conversation which is all about you, the purpose of coaching is to keep you going forward. Ask yourself: Did my coach ask me about my goals? Am I certain that these are the really important goals for me? Do we start each session with the goal I have for it? Next, a coach is able to meet the client's agenda. This means that he is able to keep the client on the track to meeting the set goals and get rid of the distractions, barriers and obstacles. Third, a coach is very clear in communicating the purpose and structure of the different tools and instruments that he offers the client.

Finally, a coach always uses appropriate and respectful to the client language. Plus, he utilizes different communication techniques that could be of the client's benefit - analogies, metaphors, jargon, appropriate terminology, etc.