What can you expect from a professional coach? (2)

CO-CREATING THE RELATIONSHIP
This group of competencies focuses on the foundation of coaching - the relationship between the coach and the client. Building a solid relationship is the prerequisite for successful coaching endeavors. A professional coach knows the importance of building relationships with clients based on trust, mutual respect, and sincere openness. This is the way to creating the safe environment in which the clients feel free to be themselves, to open up and to delve into self-discovery and self-development. So what it takes for a professional coach to encourage the co-creation of the relationship with the client?

Competency 3: Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client

ICF defines this competency as "the ability to create a safe, supporting environment, that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust". Mastering this competency is particularly crucial in the beginning of the coaching relationship, but it is a never-ending endeavor. The moment the client loses the respect, trust or confidence in his coach, true coaching becomes illusory. It takes commitment, bravery, vulnerability and curiosity on behalf of the client to allow trust and intimacy with the coach, but what a professional coach does to invite you on this path?

On the first place, from day one the coach shows genuine concern for the welfare and the future of the client. We, the coaches, truly believe that every client is resourceful and has the potential to make the most of his life. A professional coach supports the client to discover what really brings meaning in his life, what makes him happy, and what a desired future looks like. The genuine support and concern of the coach is observable in behaviors that keep the client on track of what he defines as welfare and progress for himself, but also in behaviors that challenge the client to reflect whether the actions he anticipate to take or have already taken are not obstacles for his well-being and moving toward stated goals. For example, a coach knows that the client's top priority is to achieve better work-life balance, but she shares her excitement of a new job opportunity that will keep her away from her family for a long period. Immediately the coach reminds the client what she has defined as a top priority and initiates a dialogue for self-exploration and value-based decision making.

Next, a professional coach continuously demonstrates personal integrity and honesty. Let's say that a coach declares that he is very passionate about the research in the field of coaching. During a session the client's interest in the impact of coaching on developing leadership competencies is provoked, and he asks the coach what the research suggest about this topic. The coach should be able to demonstrate profound knowledge.

Another behavior that describes this coaching competency is establishing clear agreements and keeping promises. If at some point during the sessions you find yourself in an immediate need of coaching, but you have no idea if you could contact your coach, then something is not right. Also, if you have an agreement with your coach that you can email him at any time and you will have response within 24 hours, then he should be responsible to keep that promise. If you become excessive in your emails and the coach cannot handle them, instead of delaying answers or not answering at all, he should make an additional agreement with you about the number of emails you ca send within sessions.

It is very important that a coach continuously demonstrates respect for client perceptions, learning styles, and personal being as a whole. A coach is not a judge of what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad. On the contrary, a professional coach believes that the client knows what is good for him and what makes him to be his best. A professional coach respects the clients for who they are and doesn't try to change them. Beware of a coach who shares his opinion, gives personal advices or tries to change you. It is possible that a coach feels uncomfortable working with a client because of conflict in values or beliefs. The right thing to do is to be honest with the client and to refer him to another colleague.

A professional should provide ongoing support for the client and champion his new behaviors and actions. It would be weird if you find yourself in a position where you are sharing something that makes you feel special, and your coach does not show recognition. Whenever you make a progress on something or deliver unexpected results or just try something new in pursue of your goals, you may be sure that your coach will be there to celebrate those small or big wins with you.

Finally, a professional coach should always ask permission to coach the client in sensitive areas as well as in new ones. "I notice that this is the second time you mention this tragedy in our sessions. Do you mind asking you..." or "I know that you want to focus your coaching on your job performance. However I think that there could be some patterns of behavior you tend to follow in your life. Do you feel comfortable exploring this issue in your personal relationships?" 

Competency 4: Coaching Presence
I personally believe that this is the magical competency that makes the coach a special partner in the client's life. It is the coach's secret weapon. It is the part of the mystery that makes coaching such an exceptional partnership. You cannot assess easily the demonstration of this coaching. The only way to judge it is to think how do you leave the coaching sessions. Are you excited? Optimistic? Empowered? Determined? Happy? On purpose? If the answer is yes, then you can be sure your coach is mastering his coaching presence. So here is a short description of what is it about.

A professional coach is always dancing in the moment. This means that he is open and sensitive to what is going on during the session, and makes the most of what is happening in benefit of the client. It also means that every single moment the coach reflects on where the session is going and what approach or tool to use in working with the client. The best description I've ever read on "dancing in the moment" is made by the authors of the Co-active Coaching: "A coach in the midst of a coaching session is constantly choosing. Every response from a client provides information about where to go next with the coaching. The awareness of the shifting currents and themes becomes second nature to experienced coaches; they are constantly sensing what is most important and choosing a question ot skill based on what just showed up." (Whitworth, L, Kimsey-House, K, Kimsey-House, H., & Sandahl, P., 2007, p. 5).

To be able to dance in the moment a coach has a great intuition and is able to trust it. Using his knowledge, expertise and experience a coach senses the moods, thoughts, mental models, barriers to thinking, etc. and comes up with a question that will move the client toward valuable reflection. A professional coach never uses a script or a list with must-ask questions. Rather he accepts every session and every client as a unique and uses his intuitiveness as a guiding light.

This also means that a coach is comfortable in the position of not knowing and taking risks. Before asking a client to be open to new perspectives and experiment with life, we need to be able to do that by ourselves. A coach is comfortable with trying new approaches, tools and questions as well as taking chances with suggesting new directions if his intuition tells him that this could be beneficial for the client. A coach is confident with introducing or suggesting new perspectives and with reframing for the sake of the client's growth.

Finally, a professional coach demonstrates confidence in working with strong emotions. If a client gets emotional and starts crying, the coach doesn't get emotional too, neither does he get upset, confused or distracted. Rather, a coach uses every display of authentic emotions as an opportunity to take the client on a deeper level of self-exploration, self-discovery and demystifying barriers to learning.

What can you expect from a professional coach? (1)

The truth is that as many different coaches you have in your life as many different experiences you will encounter. Think of the teachers you had in school. Chances are that all of them had different teaching styles, introduced different learning methods, followed different grading schemes, required different homework activities, and as a whole built different types of energies in the classroom. Well, the same thing is true of coaches. Every coach is a unique combination of personality, experience, style, interests, utilized tools, coaching approaches and methods which all lead to building a unique coaching relationship and synergy. However, there is something shared between all professional coaches and it is the mastering of the core coaching competencies. 

The professional regulatory body for coaches – The International Coach Federation (ICF) – has defined the eleven core competencies that every coach should develop and practice in order to deliver professional coaching to clients which are divided in four clusters: setting the foundation; co-creating the relationship; communicating effectively; and facilitating learning and results. In four consecutive posts I’ll discuss the behaviors you could expect from your professional coach and those that are unacceptable in congruence with the affirmed professional standards. I hope this would be helpful for you to better see the beauty of coaching, to understand your coaching relationship on a deeper level, or to evaluate whether you are getting professional coaching. So, let’s get started with the first two competencies that are about setting the foundation of coaching.

SETTING THE FOUNDATION

Competency 1: Meeting Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards

This first core coaching competence describes the coach’s knowledge of the professional ethics and standards as well as the ability to practically apply these standards and norms in every single situation. On the first hand, a coach is open and honest with the client about his or hers qualifications, expertise, experience, certifications and credentials with ICF. Be aware if a coach misleads you with this type of information. It could be an attempt to justify his tariff or attract you as a client, but it could also be a sign that he is able to neglect adherence to the others too. 

Next, a coach should never misrepresent others intellectual property as his own both in his practice and in his research. If during the session your coach uses a model or tool that is intriguing for you, ask where you could find more information on it.

A coach should always be aware of personal issues which might impair, conflict or deteriorate his performance as a coach or his coaching relationship with the client. In such cases the coach is expected to look for professional assistance to determine if he could continue working with the client or it is for the best interest of the client to end the coaching relationship. Here is an example. A client comes to a coaching session with emotional meltdown from the personal loss of her husband. So far she was doing great, achieving her desired goals, and moving steadily forward with her professional life. However, now she seems to be centered on her personal tragedy, struggles with accepting this ending, and seems unable to move forward. Her coach, a woman herself, has just overcome the long-lasting battle with accepting the death of her husband. During the session the coach finds that she is emotionally attached to her client, tends to share her own experience with a problem she considers to be similar to the client’s and instead of coaching she starts delivering advice-giving. In this case the coach ignores one of the main principles of coaching – that each individual has a unique perception and experience of events. The way the coach suffered and overcame her personal tragedy is not necessary the way that the client would take. This is why if the coach is not able to take the coaching perspective again toward the client, she might not be able to be of value to the client. A good sign for the client is when the coach easily shares his confusion, frustration or even personal experience. Remember: the coaching relationship is built on trust and openness which goes both ways. Another promising sign is when the coach notices his own advice-giving or story-telling, and shares it with the client.

Click here if you want to read the full list of the ethical standards professional coaches agree to comply with.

Finally, a coach should clearly understand and communicate to the client the differences between coaching, consulting, psychotherapy and the other support professions. This conversation should be held prior to starting the coaching relationship so that the client is fully aware of what coaching offers and what results could be expected. However, this conversation could be resumed during the sessions if the circumstances call for it. Let’s look at two hypothetical case studies. A client shows up for coaching to address a drinking problem. During the sessions it becomes clear that the client is extremely bored and dissatisfied with his work. Although he is valued and well-paid professional, the long hours, spent on delivering project after project, do not bring meaning in his life. The coach helps the client focus on his purpose in life and what a great life would look like for him. During the sessions the client identifies his dream job and plans a professional transition. With the first successful steps in his designated direction the drinking problem faded away. Another client shows up for coaching with the same stated problem – to address a drinking problem. He shares that it started few months ago when he lost his job and his wife left him. The coach is trying different techniques and approaches to help the client build some goals for the future and move forward. On the third session the coach notices that the client is unable to focus on the present and the future and is talking only about the missed opportunities in the past. In addition he shares that the drinking problem continues. At this point the coach might initiate a conversation where they are going with the client and whether coaching could be the right support for the client at that particular moment. The coach might suggest to the client to refer to a psychotherapist. If the client insists he needs a coaching, the coach might agree that they both would give it a final try if the client commits to doing his homework and coming prepared to the sessions. 

Here I want to mention that sometimes the coach could put on the hat of a consultant to give an advise to the client. This approach is introduced by Whitworth, L., Kimsey-House, K., Kimsey-House, H, & Sandahl, P. (2007) in their incredible Co-active Coaching approach.This is possible when few conditions are met. First, the advice is from the area of the coach’s expertise. Second, the coach is truly believes that it would be of benefit for the client. Third, the client gives permission to the coach to put on the consulting hat.

Competency 2: Establishing the Coaching Agreement

This competency describes the ability of the coach to come to an agreement with every single client about the coaching process and relationship. Let’s look at the specific behaviors that describe this competence.

On the first place, a coach understands and effectively discusses with the client the guidelines and the specific parameters of the coaching relationship with the client. It is not enough to have a standard contract sent to the client for signature. The logistics, fees, scheduling, number of sessions, etc. is only part of the coaching agreement. This is the moment the coach should share the ethical guidelines he adheres to, like maintaining strict levels of confidentiality. However, a coach is not required by law to keep in private information shared during the sessions about actions that are against the law. This might be something you need to discuss with your coach on the contracting stage.

Next, the coach reaches an agreement with the client about the boundaries of the coaching relationship which should be done both ways. If the client has some specific requirement in congruence with his culture or religion for example, he should discuss this with the coach on this stage. Also the coach makes clear what he could offer to the client and what he could not. If you have some special needs initiate a dialogue with the coach to see if he can respond to them. Also both parties come to an agreement about the responsibilities of each in the relationship. Again, the foundation of coaching is that it is an open and trusting relationship, so it is of crucial importance that both the coach and the client commit to their responsibilities and do not compromise on them.

Finally, it is very important that a coach is able to determine if there is a match between his coaching method and the needs of the client. As much as we want to be of service to everyone, this is not always possible. For example, a coach could apply a holistic approach toward coaching. This means he believes that every client is a complex individual who plays different roles in life – a child, a parent, a manager, a professional, a friend, a committed member of a non-profit organization, etc. To be able to coach, this coach needs to touch on the main fields of the client life. If the client comes to coaching with the desire to achieve a career growth and is unwilling to discuss anything outside of his work, then possibly he needs to look for another coach. Sometimes a lack of match could not be found on the contracting stage. At a later point, the coach might find out that his approach, style, utilized methods or just personality are not a good fit for the client’s needs. The moment he comes to such an insight, he should share it with the client. And as a client, whenever you discover that you feel disconnected from your coach, initiate discussion to decide whether and how to move forward.

Coaching: a fad, a trend, an OD intervention, a service... what is it?

Coaching as a profession grows in popularity. However, it is still most recognizable and respected in the US, England, Australia and New Zealand or, as my husband summarized it, in the English-speaking countries. If you don't live in any of them or if you do, but you have no idea what this buzz is all about, let me clear the air for you.

What coaching is not
As a relatively new profession coaching is often times compared with others, more known professions. The most common misconceptions about coaching consider it to be part of psychotherapy, consulting, and mentoring. Well, let me set this straight - it is not! The foundational principles of coaching are very different from those of all the others; in fact, they are contradictory.
In therapy the main concern is the client's health, usually emotional health, and the strategies are centered around uncovering unconscious issues. In coaching the focus is the client's self-satisfaction, performance and purpose achievement which is done by working with problems the client is aware of. A therapist looks in the client's past to find what happened there and analyze how it affects his present. On the other hand, a coach supports the client to clearly understand his present, build a vision of what he wants to be and start the journey to this envisioned future. Finally, therapy is all about dealing with problems, while coaching is all about building solutions and pursuing developmental goals.
Coaching is probably most often linked to consulting. Yet, if you look in the essence of this approaches, they have almost nothing to do with each other. A consultant is an expert in a field who is demanded by a client in order to solve a problem, give a solution or a respected advice. A coach is a business partner who is invited by a client on a journey of self-discovery and unlocking self-potential in which the client is the expert. However, coaching and consultancy could complement each other. In consultancy, particularly in organizational development, there is a place for coaching. For example if a consultant discovers that the problem comes with the leader, he could suggest coaching as an intervention. On the other hand, every coach has an area of expertise, and it is possible during the coaching sessions to put the hat of a consultant to give an advice, but only if the client could benefit from this and only if the client gives permission to the coach to do that.
Finally, let's look at mentoring and coaching. You have probably seen a book with a title that includes "coaching and mentoring" or a training program for "coaching and mentoring". You may wonder why are they often mentioned together. The answer is easy: because they are both focused on the future growth of the client/mentee. However, there are also some significant differences. First, the mentor is always an expert and experienced professional in the same field as the mentee is. The coach is not necessarily an expert in the field of the client, and he doesn't need to be. Although with my solid knowledge and experience in the human resources development I might be able to better understand the work problems and challenges of clients who are also in the HR (and be able to put the consulting hat more often), it doesn't mean that my colleague with marketing background couldn't be a great coach to HR people. It is the mastering of the coaching competences that makes one a great coach, not the professional background. Moreover, a mentor guides, advices and teaches the mentee, while a coach encourages the client to be a self-guiding individual, to build his own solutions, and to learn. Most importantly, mentoring is all about the professional development of an individual, while coaching takes a holistic approach and considers the client to be a complex individual with different roles which spread well beyond the working environment.

What coaches do
Coaching is a partnership. Coaching is a confidence-boost. Coaching is unlocking one's potential. Coaching is a sustainable learning that leads to discovering unknown horizons and making the most of one's life. Most intriguingly, coaching could be a life-transforming experience. Here is how the International Coaching Federation describes the coaches' responsibilities:
Professional coaches provide an ongoing partnership designed to help clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Coaches help people improve their performances and enhance the quality of their lives.Coaches are trained to listen, to observe and to customize their approach to individual client needs. They seek to elicit solutions and strategies from the client; they believe the client is naturally creative and resourceful. The coach's job is to provide support to enhance the skills, resources, and creativity that the client already has.
Here are my favorite definitions of coaching:
Jenny Rogers (2004): A coach works with clients to achieve speedy, increased and sustainable effecveness in their lives and careers through focused learning.

Tim Gallway (1997): Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.
Anthony Grand (2003): Coaching is a collaborative, solution‐focused, result oriented and systematic process in which the coach facilitates the enhancement of work performance, life experience, self‐directed learning and personal growth of individuals from normal (non‐clinical) populations.
Laura Withworth et al. (2007): Coaching is chiefly about discovery, awareness, and choice. It is a way of effectively empowering people to find their own answers, encouraging and supporting them on the path as they continue to make important choices.

The theories behind coaching
Coaching is build on the existing huge body of knowledge of disciplines like psychology (cognitive, behavioral, positive and others), management theory, adult learning, and philosophy among others. Every coach adapts some or many approached from myriad of theoretical paradigms which together with his professional expertise form a coach's unique toolbox. If you are looking for a particular coaching approach, you may want to narrow your coach search by this criteria. Or if you are curious or intrigued by your coach's approach you may research it online or initiate directly conversation with him.

Making the most of self-directed learning

I still remember how in my childhood every book release provoked excitement and eagerness to read something new. At that time the governing rule was: the more you read the smarter you are. However, in small countries, like my home country Bulgaria, one's knowledge was limited by the available on the market literature. But then came the Internet. The access to this huge body of information was even more exciting to the extent of overwhelming. There was a point in my life when I was trying to reach out every available article, model, tool or whatever in my field - Human Resources Development. I was spending hours in searching, downloading, saving and categorizing files. Mission Impossible! It didn't take me long to come to that conclusion. It was official: nobody can read and learn everything that is of interest to him. This insight could possibly lead to frustration, as it did to me. However, there is an antidote and it is called self-directed learning. Here are some strategies on how to leverage it in order to achieve sustainable personal and professional growth.

It all comes down to your purpose in life

What is your dream for your life? How do you imagine your ideal self one year from now? Where do you want to be? These are just a few questions that can stimulate you to reflect on your own life purpose. Being fully aware of your passions and conscious about what you really want to do in your life is the first step toward leveraging self-directed learning in pursue of a fulfilling life. Channel your learning to serve your passions and interests.

Discover what your learning style is

We are all different and we all learn in a different way. Ask yourself: How do I learn best? Is it from my personal experience? Or from my observations of others doing what I want to do? Or maybe from reading and thinking on what I read? Or do I just go out, do what I want to do and by practice find the best way to do it? David Kolb introduced the learning theory which suggests that learning is cyclical process that has four distinct stages: concrete experience, reflective observation, abstract conceptualization and active experimentation. Click here if you want to learn more about Kolb's learning styles.The existing research suggests that every individual feels better on certain points of this cycle. It is worth taking few minutes to reflect on where you stand on this curve.

Find the sources that are a match to your style

Once you have channeled your hunger or learning and you have become fully aware of how you learn best, it is time to find your sources for learning. For example, if you are looking for a graduate degree and you are somewhere on the thinking side of the learning cycle, you might want to check some more traditional schools based predominantly on lecturing and research. On the contrary, if you are a Do-er, then you better look for program that emphasizes project assignments, role plays, and active in-class participation. And don't forget the web! There is so much you can find here: LinkedIn groups, online communities, newsletters, professional organizations, forums, webinars, colleges, blogs and so much more. They all are a huge source of information and again you can pick those that match your learning style. Plus, many of them are free of charge.

Keep your learning realistic

Don't forget to be realistic about how much learning you can handle. It's not a good idea to sign up for too many newsletters or to become a member of too many online groups or communities. You can come to a point where you receive on a daily basis so many emails and links, that you just start deleting them without taking the learning opportunity. Find out what works best for you and stick to it.

 

Reassess periodically
Reassessment should be part of your self-directed learning. Try to take some time twice a year for reflection. Here are some questions to use as a starting point. Is what I am doing supporting my learning? Do I feel comfortable about my learning progress? Is my learning helping me to get where I want to be? If you are stuck with your learning, go through the steps again to help you find a way out. If you feel you need to change something, do it - go with your gut!

Self direct your learning and enjoy the comfort of growing as the person and the professional you want to be! 

Find more information about self-directed learning here:
Tool, Techniques, and Resources for the Self-Directed Learner 
Self-Directed Learning in the Workplace